What's It Like to F*ck A Jesus Wound?

I have to repost this sex toy that Jezebel found. I'm into deviant shit and I even have a mild foot fetish, but this shit is TOO much. It makes my pee-hole hurt.

PS- I think it's Asian.

Robbed Without a Pistol

With the economy in dire straights, retailers are makin' cut backs on goods and services, turning to clever means to retain customer spending through promotions and shit. Count Bass D is a man that understands these times when the funds are tight and is giving away a free instrumental album of his wizardry, aptly titled "Robbed Without A Pistol".



Count Bass D is a veteran rapper/producer/musician that has been putting 100% pure, uncut underground hip-hop since 1995 on labels like the seminal NY label Fatbeats. His 2002 "Dwight Spitz" album really caught my ear, where not only his talent as an mc was apparent, but his production also shined on beats like the instrumental interlude, "Jussa Player". I got a chance to catch Count live when he was tour with my homie Coolzey back in 2006, and was really impressed by how dope his show was. He's the kind of rapper that makes you realize where good underground hip-hop has been hiding.

He has a new full length, titled L7 that just dropped this month on 1320 Records, so show the man some respect for giving away some free cuts and check it out.

Cover Letters

I was given an interesting cover letter the other day. This is the exact format it was sent in and I didn't alter anything to make it sound more mastabatory. If this is how hipster kids be doing it this decade, I'm definitely out of the loop.

"Being a bathroom attendant in a dimly-lit, new-money cocktail lounge is a bit demeaning. While thanklessly handing paper towels to investment bankers and executives, I merely smiled and shook hands, my eyes fixed on those of my patrons. I would assert my confidence to the point that it seemed as if I were already worth millions, and that I was subjecting myself to such treatment for recreation.

It wasn't feigned, either. The firmness of my handshake was, and is, indicative of my unwavering ambition. I have worked in San Francisco restaurants for the 3 years since I started as a toilet-scrubber. I'm now a knowledgeable server at one of the most praised culinary institutions in northern California, -------. Simultaneously, I pursued a career in media, putting in time at a burgeoning Web 2.0 startup while coordinating and performing interviews for some of the world's largest skateboard publications in my spare time. Most recently I was able to align myself with the definitive Los Angeles tastemakers at The ------ -----, and together we've made a considerable amount of progress in the San Francisco market. I've networked my way to this point, and I plan to go further. I'd like to continue my ascension with ------.

It's in my nature to allow others to think that I'm holding the proverbial low card. I'm afflicted with a penchant for doing things with disregard for convention, but challenging myself has always appeared to be the only option. I frequently surprise myself, but I've learned that the only thing more rewarding than accomplishing a goal is surprising others. If given the opportunity, I will exceed your expectations.

Sincerely,
-----------"

Dirty Thirty

Check Diesel's ad for their XXX party. The worldwide event is this weekend and the invite video is absolutely beyond. I think I just had an acid flashback.


Diesel SFW XXX - Watch more free videos

The Way It Is

Rafael Saadiq just released the album The Way I See It. The album is a dope motown throwback that recreates the vintage 60s-Al Green-Temptations-Smokey Robinson sound perfectly. The album carries a love theme, but the upbeat, doo-wop songs are a long way off from a steamy make out session. Noteworthy things you should know about Raphael Saadiq: He, his brother and their cousin made up Tony! Toné! Tone! He also founded Lucy Pearl (which is one way he got hooked in with Tribe) and he's carved a pretty solid career producing and writing ish for other neo-soul singers, like D'Angelo (before he was trife, over weight and getting arrested for yola).
Get a taste...
Tony! Toné! Tone! ft. Dj Quick- Let's Get Down
Rafael Saadiq- Keep Marchin'
and here's a dope hip-hop beat that samples Love That Girl by The Are- Love That Chop original vid below.

Get Loose!

Fridays are by far the best day to go insane during the weekend. You've successfully managed to crawl through yet another week of 9-5 bullshit and no matter how much you've been worn down by emails and spreadsheets, come 5pm on Friday, you're amazingly rejuvinated and ready to swallow down that long awaited "I've got two days off, so let's rage" first drink, run around, and get your grind on with a stranger. That first beer I have on Friday tastes so good, I often mutter the dreaded words, "Damn, I think I want to get fucked up tonight." At which point, friends, you can no longer hold me responsible for whatever debauchery transpires next.

This Friday, DJ Upturn starts his monthly party (every 3rd Friday to be exact) Get Loose! The 90s throwback mayhem (inspired by Yo! MTV Raps) goes down at Dada Lounge on 2nd between Market and Mission in SF. So after you're nice and buzzed (and horny) from the Verses party- Free Peroni, Fernet and Oysters- that ends at 9pm, head over here and shake it to ghetto, electro and retro tracks that will soon be your favorites, if they ain't already. Hightops welcome.

Curtis Vodka- Eat My Pussy
DJ Funk- There's Some Hoes in this House
Spank Rock & Benny Blanco (Ft. Amanda Blank) Get Loose

From the Bay to LA

Last weekend we rolled down to LA for the 4th of July to catch some sun, cervezas, and rotten sushi. I was supposed to play a pool party with my homie DJ Berlin but, the event was unexpectedly cancelled. We still managed to hit the beach, see some homies, and hit a dope monthly hip hop party party in Chinatown called Boom Box. This month featured Diamond D of the D.I.T.C. crew who played a set of almost all tracks that he's produced. Percee P (Stones Throw) also hosted and the talented J Rawls of the famed Lone Catalysts production duo also played...WHEW! what a lineup. The Soul Scienz residents and Choice 37 seriously held it down as well. We were told by numerous people that there is nothing like this going on in LA right now, so if your LA definitely check it out. If your into hip hop, also check out my man DJ Koder killing it all over.

Our boy DJ Rin can also be seen banging the box all over LA and Vegas at spots like Circus Disco and the Avalon. He and my homies Hydrogen aka Kirkwood West (Illinois, Amtrax.net) and Myles Egner (Platform, SWAT, SF) , just put out a release on former Playboy Playmate, DJ Tatiana's new label, Jook Music. Cop their shit on Beatport.