I was given an interesting cover letter the other day. This is the exact format it was sent in and I didn't alter anything to make it sound more mastabatory. If this is how hipster kids be doing it this decade, I'm definitely out of the loop.
"Being a bathroom attendant in a dimly-lit, new-money cocktail lounge is a bit demeaning. While thanklessly handing paper towels to investment bankers and executives, I merely smiled and shook hands, my eyes fixed on those of my patrons. I would assert my confidence to the point that it seemed as if I were already worth millions, and that I was subjecting myself to such treatment for recreation.
It wasn't feigned, either. The firmness of my handshake was, and is, indicative of my unwavering ambition. I have worked in San Francisco restaurants for the 3 years since I started as a toilet-scrubber. I'm now a knowledgeable server at one of the most praised culinary institutions in northern California, -------. Simultaneously, I pursued a career in media, putting in time at a burgeoning Web 2.0 startup while coordinating and performing interviews for some of the world's largest skateboard publications in my spare time. Most recently I was able to align myself with the definitive Los Angeles tastemakers at The ------ -----, and together we've made a considerable amount of progress in the San Francisco market. I've networked my way to this point, and I plan to go further. I'd like to continue my ascension with ------.
It's in my nature to allow others to think that I'm holding the proverbial low card. I'm afflicted with a penchant for doing things with disregard for convention, but challenging myself has always appeared to be the only option. I frequently surprise myself, but I've learned that the only thing more rewarding than accomplishing a goal is surprising others. If given the opportunity, I will exceed your expectations.
Sincerely,
-----------"
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